Very Blessed

Allah Akbar, I am so fulfilled today. I was thanking Allah for all the blessings he has bestowed upon me since I have converted to Islam. Then it I realized I have always been blessed, but I just now have become aware of this and began thanking my God for the blessings in my life. I have met an amazing man and I am planning to marry. I am still new to the rules of the Islamic wedding, so I am a bit fearful. I want everything to be perfect, but his family is in Saudi and my family is still in shock I am a Muslim. I feel like I am on an island. I am thirsting for knowledge (not just about the process for Marriage, but for every aspect of Islam) but I have no Idea who to turn to or where to go. Serving Allah is my only goal, everything else is second. I want to do everything right, but there is so much I do not know. 

أنعم الله الرحمن الرحيم، لي مع المعرفة الهائلة اليوم

According to Google translator the tittle of today's blog means: Allah (the most merciful) has bestowed upon me great knowledge today. I was going through a hard time, I had stopped my daily prayers. That is the most important part of being a Muslim, besides your testimony and believe that Allah is the one true God and the creator and that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was his last prophet. I had just gotten discouraged because I wasn't learning the Arabic as quickly as I had wanted. I am an English speaking women who has never spoken another language and I have a slight learning disability that make the written word hard for me to grasp sometimes. I wanted nothing more that to please Allah with my obedience and pray, but I let other discourage me. "YOU HAVE TO PRAY IN ARABIC !!" I heard this constantly so I decided to stop praying until I learned it. I feel like that was the worst decision I could have made. I have decided to do the best I can, using youtube videos and written notes to help me along until I am able to memorize the surahs. I have been a Muslim for 27 days only and before that I know of the pillars of faith and the core beliefs of Islam, but nothing more. This link inspired me to keep my faith and do what I can. As long as I keep Allah in my heart and Mind through-out the day I know he will guide me down the right path and help me to become proficient in my prayers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoJ5RK6UUBM This video link, an episode from The Deen Show has strengthened my faith, for any New Muslim convert, or non-Muslim considering converting I suggest checking it out.                                               -Salam (peace)

Bismillah

I never thought that a "white" women converting to Islam out of the blue would be easy. I new my Southern Baptist family would take sometime to get use to the idea. I knew acquaintances might not understand the moving experience that led to my conversion might doubt my sincerity, or be confused by the fact one day I was an average american, and the next a hijabie (wearing a hijab). I didn't really prepare myself for all the racism that I would face. Horns blaring at me while I am standing waiting for the bus, obscenities yelled from passerby's windows, rude commits at school, and other situations that sometimes made me fear for my safety. I have a new found respect for Muslim women in America. My Fiancee recommends I do not go out alone after dark, and whenever possible I do not, however two nights a week my bus from school does not drop me off until almost 10pm. It is very unfortunate our country is filled with so much hate. I am an american born women, who prior to converting to Islam served in the U.S. Army and I am still getting so much hate aimed at me; I truly feel for Muslim women in the U.S. who are from another country of origin. I am just surprised at the hate people can hold in there heart's for the unknown. I am saddened by this people, and I pray Allah will show them the error in their ways and move their hearts. Please pray for these people as well, thank you.

What the Veil ?!

Todays topic wearing a hijab. The Qur'an says :
“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.” [Q 24:31]
So as a Qur'an abiding Muslim women it is expected of me to dress modestly and cover myself in the presents of men that could be potentially interested in me sexually.  So anyone who is male and not related. Obviously once you become a married women you can "unveil" yourself for your husband. I have always been a conservative dresser, so wearing the hijab can natural to me. I have to admit, I have never felt more beautiful, more powerful, and more virtuosoes than when I am wearing a hijab and a abaya. It is unfortunate so many women base there self-worth on their sexuality. Here in the U.S. women are denied jobs based on their looks. Also shameful establishments like Hooters, give young women a false impression about what being a women is all about. Real women respect themselves and conceal their bodies from public view. The curves of your body should be treated like a great treasure that is not given to just anyone. Sorry I got a little off topic lol. 
     While searching for Hijab tips (I only know one way to wrap a hijab so far and it is becoming a hassle) I found this link:  http://stylishmuslimah.blogspot.com/2010/02/hijabi-beginner-5-cons-of-hijab.html    I thought it was really cute so I decided to share.  I still haven't found a easy way to wrap my rectangular hijabs, if anyone knows a cut and easy way PLEASE message me. Thank you.

When you are blessed by Allah.....

I am amazed at the Wisdom my lord has bestowed  upon me just by speaking his praise. I feel as if I am a new women. Allahu Akbar !!! Even though I am still struggling with formalities, I feel as if I become closer to Allah. My Arabic is taking longer than I would like. I asked for guidance and strength. Why must we pray in Arabic?! I was born in the United States and before now have never even heard Arabic spoken. Muslim people are all over the world from every different country, so how could will tell another Muslim brother or sister if we shared no common tongue? It would be difficult right? Of course. Another thought that originally plagued my mind was, " Why are our Surahs (prayers) so uniformed? Times and wordings so precise. I realized that before converting to Islam I didn't take time to "Praise" God, because I was to busy "praying" for what I wanted. As a small child I prayed for a pony, as a teen I prayed a certain guy would asked me to the prom, as a young mother I prayed my tiny pay check would cover my expenses. Now my mindset has completely changed. I praise Allah and trust he will protect me from all harm. Most of the things I ever desired seemed superficial now. Blessed am I by Allah, that I have cloths to wear, food to eat, water to drink, and a roof over my head. So many are not as fortunate  as I.

Another Day

As I try to make it day by day, it seems Allah has already began testing my faith with money problems and relationship troubles; you name it, it's happening to me. Through it all I attempt to have unwavering faith. I chose this path, and I certainly never expected it to be easy. I guess I never thought it would be so hard so soon. Arabic is the hardest language I have ever seen. I am finding even memorizing a few lines for my surahs (prayers) very difficult. I need a boost of faith, a sister in Islam who is understanding and willing to walk this path with me, to share knowledge and to listen to my difficulties. So far I have found none, but I blog her hooping to relieve some of my tension. If anyone reads this, please pray for me to have guidance and stronger faith.